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Caution: if you opened this post thinking that it would be a profound address to the world leader of the small island country of Nauru, which has been plagued in the past decade by a faltering economy based on depleted phosphate mining, a brief stint as an international tax haven, an offshore detention center for the government of Australia, and accusations of corrupt politics:
You are about to be sorely disappointed.
"Day 31: Nauru Awareness Day! Nauru is a tiny island all alone in the middle of the Pacific. Today let them know they're not completely forgotten by sending the President a friendly postcard at Office of the President, c/o Ministry of Works, Yaren Nauru."
Yep, another daily task from This Book Will Change Your Life. Nauru is a tiny island nation near Australia with a population of about 13,000, which sadly means that ASUC President Roxanne Winston yields power over roughly twice as many people as President Marcus Stephen of Nauru. I couldn’t try roast Nauru pig today as my book recommended, but I did send President Stephen this friendly card purchased especially for the occasion at Avant Carde on Bancroft:
and wrote him a note:
With that last paragraph, I was not, in fact, being facetious:
President Stephen of Nauru (right) ponders lifting President Ma of Taiwan up over his head and spinning him around WWF-style during a ceremonial inspection of the troops.
Too bad ASUC President Roxanne Winston never won any weightlifting championships.
In the spirit of Nauru Awareness Day, familiarize yourself with basic Nauru facts and scope out Nauru’s tourism bureau website to acquaint yourself with accomodation options. This information will come in handy should you choose to visit Nauru yourself, as the larger of the two hotels on the island boasts a swimming pool and air conditioning. Or glance over President Stephen’s international medal record and bemoan the complete lack of pictures of Nauru’s specialty roast pig on Google Image Search.
I have never been an early bird. At home on weekend mornings, my dad usually rushes into the room my sister and I share, chirpy and all excited about some wholesome family outing he has planned. He pulls the window blinds right up, flooding bright sunlight into the room, and shouts something typically cheery like “Good morning girls! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Just look at that sky!”, sometimes followed by a hearty rendition of the theme song from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.
At this point, my sister pretends that she’s deep in REM sleep, and it generally works, because my dad latches on to me instead. I respond by demanding one of the following:
- “Dad. It is TEN O CLOCK in the MORNING. Are you MAD?”
- “Why are you so CHIPPER? Cheer DOWN.”
- Or, once, at his insistence that it really was time to wake up already, “You have GOT to be kidding me.”
This morning, however, I was probably up before even my dad was. Today’s task in This Book Will Change Your Life was “Do Something Before Breakfast Today”. Here is my morning, documented through Twitter:
5:00 am: (My alarm went off. I frantically pawed around for the snooze button, accidentally called the second contact in my address book instead, and spent the next half hour trying to wake up before I was able to pull myself out of bed and onto Twitter.)
5:38 am: reading “this book will change your life”. today’s task: do something before breakfast. so here i am, tweeting before the break of dawn.
5:48 am: my morning paper isn’t here yet. step it up, oakland tribune. no matter. i’m going to eat a grapefruit i purchased especially for today.
6:32 am: warmed up and stretched for half an hour, not really caring how idiotic i looked, because none of my neighbors are awake yet! liberating.
6:56 am: the boyfriend, who is also following “this book will change your life”, is using his early morning to do chem homework.
6:56 am: greeting the sun. hi sun! good morning!
7:01 am: going on a run down college ave. this will be my first run in about a year, so i expect to be winded shortly. nonetheless, on a run i go.
7:55 am: a triumph: ran all the way to safeway, about a mile. bought another grapefruit. said good morning to all passersby. have huge smile on face.
Later,
9:59 am: about to attempt to poach eggs for the first time. i am feeling adventurous, but not enough to freestyle it sans cookbook.
10:24: tip for aspiring egg-poachers: don’t read digg while poaching. you’ll end up with a no-shell hardboiled egg on burnt toast. round 2.
(Round 2 was, for the record, perfect.)
One thing I have noticed about waking up before the crack of dawn is how much more I’ve been able to fit into my day. Also, the endorphins must be working, because I am what my alternate universe non-early bird self would disparagingly call “an absolute cesspool of positivity”. I must try this again sometime.
John recently gave me the most excellent book for my birthday. It’s called This Book Will Change Your Life, and it’s full of 365 bold and daring things to do. The idea is that by the end of one year, you’ll be a completely fascinating person. Here are the first six days of tasks so that you can get started:
Day 1: Warm-up. As this is your first day, you should warm up with an easy task that will only change your life a little bit. Choose one of the following options.
Day 2: The love of your life. Today, gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of your life, the one destined for you and you alone, and whether you might be passing them by forever...Act in consequence.
Day 3: Today throw something away that you like.
Day 4: World coloring-in day. Today, work out your globetrotting plans for the rest of your time on earth, and get on the phone to an accredited travel agent. NB: the State Dept. currently discourages travel to the following countries: Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea, Turkmenistan, Zimbabwe, North Yemen. Fill in country by country: (Green) Been there done that; (Blue) Intend to go there this year; (Yellow) Intend to go there sometime before I die; (Red) Happy never to set foot there in my whole life.
Day 5: Mass social experiment. Cut out and stick this sign on any item of public infrastructure you might encounter today, including, but not limited to: elevators, garbage trucks, cranes, phone booths, toilets, ventilation units, escalators, entrances to subway stations. The aim is to achieve comprehensive social breakdown across the US.
Day 6: Today write the opening sentence of your debut novel.
You can purchase this life-changing book on Amazon for $12.24.
